For herself she wanted a “better way” of working with children.

From her book, He Hit Me Back First!

The children came running into the room, jumping on chairs, walking across desks, yelling and laughing, totally disregarding me and the teacher’s aide. Upon seeing me, one little boy shouted, “A substitute!” He ran outside and proceeded to run around and around the portable all morning, yelling and throwing orange and banana peels through the windows. Whenever the aide or I would try to stop him, he would run out a nearby gate and down the sidewalk.

The aide walked quietly around the room. Stopping and putting her arm around a child, she would whisper, “Now, you’ll be good, won’t you? For me, please?” Although the children simply shrugged and ignored her, she continued to sweetly love them.

I, on the other hand, had become the strong-willed, external authoritarian, yelling and demanding cooperation. These were seven-year-olds, almost at the end of second grade! One expects children to have learned some form of discipline by this time. I physically placed some children in their seats and dared them to move.

Ms Fugitt’s students, as described by parents, foster parents, and social workers:

“An incorrigible discipline problem.”

“Aggressive and undisciplined.”

“Constant fighting and use of obscenity.”

“A foster child. Mother in an institution and father an alcoholic. Three brothers in jail, one in San Quentin.”

“When she was five years old she saw her father kill her mother after he found her in bed with a lover.”

Ms Fugitt’s question?

How does a classroom teacher help children with such problems? Children who, because of life experiences, have a low sense of self-esteem and little awareness of how to correct their behavior? Children who, in order to survive, are behaving the only way they know how?

The guide

One day, while still working as a substitute:

I had the children in the library when two boys got into an argument over a comb and started to physically battle it out. The class went wild, jumping up and down, yelling whooooeee! I had caught the two boys by the arms and had them on either side of me, each straining to reach the other, when the door to the next classroom opened.

The teacher stood quietly in the doorway and said, “May I help you?” I looked at him. The children looked at him. Silence. A respectful silence. The man was of slight stature, plain in appearance, and had a slight limp. He also had a quiet presence that penetrated us all. He asked what the problem was and listened quietly and fully. He then placed a gentle hand on one boy’s shoulder and suggested that he “come with me for a while.” The class returned to work.

At lunch time I sought out that man and what a time of sharing we had! He was a dedicated teacher who firmly loved the children. He evoked a disciplined response from them without resorting to “rule with an iron hand” or “just love them, the poor dears.”

Three teachers, three approaches to discipline. One using love without will, evoking disrespect and non-cooperation. The second (myself) using will without love, evoking cooperation with resentment. The third creatively using love with will, evoking trust and growth.

I left that day determined to discover and develop within myself that same inner presence that radiated love and will, gentleness and firmness, and loving strength.

As Ms Fugitt relates in her book, she “gave up” and instead chose a new challenge:

1. Letting go of being the “Perfect” teacher,
2. Letting go of students being “Perfect” students,
3. Developed her own ability to develop student ability to use their own will.

It was difficult and even painful for me to learn that I could not be “responsible” for the behavior of my students. Each student ultimately makes his own choice of response, even within a limited environment.

Further:

There was no way I could “make” a child learn to multiply, learn to read, learn to “be good” unless the child’s awareness at the time permitted her to choose to do these things. However, I could be responsible for my own behavior. I could be responsible for creating an environment that motivates, challenges, and invites a disciplined, creative response to learning.

If Ms Fugitt succeeded then students would succeed too, but if she failed, students would continue their bad behavior and would not learn.

Did Eva Fugitt succeed? Watch this video.